Showing posts from 2012


i didn't expect that i will be having my last day.
i didn't expect my colleagues will be hugging me and wishing me.
i didn't expect what i've been expecting for.
since the first time i joined that company,
i realize that many things could be explainable but not to be explained,
things could be so easy but not too easy to be done,
things could be so nice but someone just crush it.
i've done what i did,
and i didn't want to expect more.
the way she acted, the way she talked,
just said that,
i felt sorry for her.
for what i've been through,
let's just say it's just a pile of water.
i've got long long way to go...
for whoever you are,
thank you for your supporting and...
be honestly,

FxCK you!! i do hope that you get whatever i cursed you!!!

just honestly split out.

part of my place. definitely gonna miss that place...







If my life is full with betraying,
then i HAVE to admit it.
sometimes i just don't know why.
am i too good to be cheated?
am i too kind to be betrayed?
am i too...soft hearted to be scolded for no reason?

he's right about one thing.
people will be betraying me no matter i good to them or bad to them.
i want to be so WHATEVER.
i realize that i have to confront within.
just laugh and smile all the way.
I have to because it won't hurt that much.



Shock by the time when she called me.
Went in without knowing have to take notebook and pen.
Sit down as he ordered.
Trying to figure it out whether it is the reason that i left.
Deny it without hesitate.
Telling him i'm very confirm about it.
Figure it again.
Getting the same answer.
Then, thank you.
Me left without turning back.

trying to tell him is not the money that i want.
Just want a peaceful life here.
And nothing but that,
a very systematic working style.
the guts had gone when i went in.


Regularly Updating

half dead and half alive here. can't believe that people could be that so ugly when you try to put your letter to HIM/HER!! for those days i have done for them and they just take it for granted!!! thats why i called out. i fed up! it's worthless to work at that company! that kind of company that full of bullshit!!
not hoping anymore! im not going to hope anything anymore. it's worthless and it's wasting my time.
take everything as granted. well, well, well... serena is not going to be a good girl to that ANYMORE!

EXpress MYSelf!

just wanna to express the love of tama-chan in here!
very in love with him ler....
but roll back to the reality,
i still need to find someone else rather than dreaming about fantasy.
no matter what,
i always in love with you, tama-chan~

Free With Myself


suddenly feel my life full of surprises.
to whom ever that pour all the heart to me,
your secret is SAFE with me~

trying to start a new novel here...

Again with the pyscho mind

Think a lot of novel plot.
Thinking about starting back my interest of writing novel.
Im not good at vocab or phrase and sometime i did use it the wrong way.
But still,
Pretty enjoy it when start this kind of stuff.

Im not so much experience on lOving ones and sometimes does imPly my personality.
This is whqt serena wants in her romantic life.
None of this real and most of all,
thats not going to happen.
Upon of that,
I still hope theres going to be a fairy tale waiting for me.
Back to reality,
Thats just a pretty words to say.

Finger cross for everything.

For one thing,
I don want to shop with my manager!

Speed updating

hey out there!
i'm still alive if you asked...DUH~

a little quickly update for myself and for who DOES care about me~
(a little bit annoying, right?)
they found me a new backup and i'm kinda appreciate that.
but still,
doesn't change my mind to moving out of this hell!
spend a lot and becoming one of the gamble god==
don't mind it.
it's what my family do~(wow~kinda split out a bit of milk here.)
still loving my hubby, tama.
figure it out it's time to study.
and in the process of letting myself into study mood.
single but complicated now.
enjoying my 100% perfect life (to me, it's 100% perfect)

ya. one thing.
i don't care what people judge me by looking at my spending but one thing i want to tell them is:
i like it, i can afford it, i even can crush it when i hate it!
this is what gamble taught me.
(bad! guys, don't even try to learn from me.)
he/she doesn't have the right to control my money even though she/he is my best friend!
only my fami…


the conclusion is: the decision that i made just been throw into scratcher.
oh dear.
this is my first time that someone scratch my letter.
every single time i want to spend with my life is to be who i want to be.

many advises, many directions, many sort of things just keep coming and coming.
lost myself, again.
losing it means i need to take a break from it and think again.
i'm not doing stupid things actually.
it's just sometimes,
cannot stand for those people.
so, whatever.

everything gone.


don't say that i'm not mature enough this decision.
don't say that i'm stupid to make this decision.
don't say that i'm suiciding myself...

FACT: yupe! i'm SUICIDING myself.

i had it enough.
those crazy and out-of-them mind things, i had it ENOUGH!
not that i'm not patient enough but to pretend i'm patient.
so pathetic!
i don't know what's above me but i know that it's time to make this decision.
i have thinking for the past SIX months but to hold on to it.
no way!!
they said, i can't take off like i like!!!
WTF!!!我靠( ‵o′)凸
they said, i can't barely finish those stupid ever jobs!!
if you so clever then,
you finish it.
i'm off of this!!!

i will put my letter on her table and no matter who said and what do,
i will not change my mind!

this is such a ridiculous COMPANY!!!!!!
why i ever stuck here to call my skin old off?!


hanging around with colleague,
it's the very particular thing that I've ever done.
i never imagine that i can hang with those people i worked together and sometimes poked each other back( not that kind of 'poking'...).
can't say that everything looks fine but as people looked, they will just say:" wow, these girls, really can hang around."
my instinct?

all above of that,
i still enjoying my own privacy.
in reality,
i just a girl(still?)who likes to put her faces in front of the computer,
just a girl who likes to read comics, novels,
just a girl who likes to write a lot of nonsense stuff and a bunch of stupid annoying love story which the fact i hate hanging around with boys..-_-|||
this is the real me.
and i don't get people easily to break down the wall that i built it so hardly.
i don't talk much and i don't like buzzing around.
but the way i act and the way i take action,
just give the impression of being the abnormal one.
in the matter of …


i mean very seriously...
should i wait for that particular woman for just one particular thing?!
don't you think it's a little bit over when you're already plan everything in perfectly order and SUDDENLY,
'POOF'  'BANG' everything went wrongs.
sometimes, just hate what they're doing.
i mean, did they actually know what they are doing?

it's time to roll back to the days when my english hasn't get suck yet.
you know,
i get tongue-twisted inside my mouth when i'm trying to speak in english!
that's absolutely unacceptable.
now i know why,
sometimes people don't use english to communicate instead of using their familiar languages.
me, myself.
particularly familiar with my FAVOURITE language--JAPANESE! NIHONGO DEATH!
remind me of fukuyama jun-san.
although it's hasn't been certified yet,
but still,
i pretty good at it.

still loving tama-chan and another tama..
look f…

a updating

still hanging around with the dark atmosphere.
still wondering whether i going to make this decision.
life, just full of choices and sometimes we DID make the wrong choose.
a quickly update...

*have my FIRST own CAR which registered under MY NAME!!
 i haven pick up the photo yet but maybe later?
 showing off to the whole world just to let them see how GORGEOUS is my husband!

*dump a guy?
 actually he dumped me..haha!like even we had started yet!
 i don't need him...OBVIOUSLY! i don't need any guys to stimulate my life.

*after like about 5 years, went to do some sport activities.
 talking like one but act different thing.
 just sitting beside the pool and get attention.
 WOW! roll back to the second.
 SERIOUSLY. didn't need one to full fill my life!

*trying so hard to just type a letter.
 i will and i do!

no photos but words~
see ya!


Sitting inside the coffee bean cafe,
Listen to my iPod and looking outside the window,
Suddenly saw something that make me realize.
This is acutely reality happening.
Not that I'm criticizing or what,
Is just I can't accept the way the thing it's happened.
Is it my wrong sense?
Looking at the joker thar worked in resort hotel,
One thing that we need to know is this hotel is kinda five star rated.
Maybe that's why this thing happened.
Seeing a BMW with the number plate which stated two digit number,
There's people serving them.
Joker are serving them.
Gently open the door car, sweetly open the door and took their stupid expensive luggages...
And then sweetly told them to tOok off.
Fair enough.
The next thing is,
There's vanette van came by.
Some guests came down and no one to bother!
That's a little bit of over, dude.
They also humans.
And humans are the same!
I think they should be treat as well they treat other people

easily upset

just found out me, easily upset...
listen to those gossip makes me can't trust someone else.
this is so BAD.
by the way,
i just enjoy my life right now.
very enjoying...
leave me alone when i need to be alone.
listen to my favourite music, seeing my love one, laugh to the animation,
singing to my favourite songs...
i like to be alone and don't like to be disturbed.
this is me.

you can say that,
i'm a coward little person but i just love the way i am.
i love the way who i am and the way i act.
kataomoi nante ne,
i still believe that "being alone is not equal to sadness."

fill in the blank

wondering what my life would be if i'm a boy?
maybe, coward?
or just nothing special?
or just OTAKU?

starting to fed up with my job.
can't be stubborn or selfish or わがままだね

in love with MUSIC!

in love with charice-new world.
ffxiii? theme song~
fukui mai-san no yakusoku no baisho also good!!
but well,
love the meaning when it sang in english.

i was thinking that maybe i'm suppose to be like that.
not that i reject the power of love but it just fear?
afraid to accept what is difference from me and maybe can't accept what is what.
oh god.
i think i lost my words.
i can't say that i ready for love but i like to challenge it.
afraid of losing it but it worth to try.
at least, you know the hurt and makes me strong from it.
i'm not expecting HIM to give me anything but dude,
i'm gonna tell that,
i'm really in you and i AM NOT going to make a move if you're giving the signal to move on.
if you not,
i'm not too..
just spoken of CHALLENGING...

just in love with the song~

leave my life ALONE!

not that i hate people calling here and there,
not that i hate people chatting with me,
when i need a time alone,
just GIVE IT!! YOU ASSHOLE MORON!!!! (forgive the rudeness...)

i will listen to you when you need me to listen.
i will do everything if that's going to make you feel better.
and i will talk to you when i need you to listen...
BUT please,
for the god's sake,
leave me alone when i WANT to be!!!

i admitted.
i drunk recently.
talk nonsense and calling for innocent people.
i don remember what i've been talking and what i've been promising.
i'm sorry about that.
if you think that i HAVE promise you things that's going to be very serious in your life,
please do be kind to recall my memories back.
not that:" just forget it."
if this is what you want,
i take it as granted.

my dearest,
please can you leave me ALONE?